Thursday, March 26, 2015

ULW's Fucked Up Friday VIII, 4/3/15, Kalinda RP 1 of 2


For once I'm rather pleased with the way things have gone on a ULW show. My opponent bludgeoned into submission, a member of her entourage badly mauled once again, and justice served in the main event where Jason King triumphed once the odds were evened.

Funny how that works.

From top to bottom the whole show was a catharsis for me. I got to beat the peas out of that obnoxious little thorn in my side, Lenore Price-Mason. I got to suplex her brother-cousin-husband Silas, and I got to absolutely maim a member of her overpopulated entourage.

My one regret is that I didn't get that chance to punt that little kid into the gods damned Jumbotron. that would've made my year.

But no, I'll settle for literally giving Mr. Joshua the spear. On the bright side that guy is going to have an absolute amazing Jesus halloween costume for decades to come. And while he may not be able to have a wank now, and will have to hope for Silas to splurge of some of New Eden's demonic frankenhookers, Ol' Josh'll have a pair of Fleshlights wherever he goes from now on! He can even use his hands as a whistle!

*Twee!*

*Twee!*

Just like that!

Monday, March 16, 2015

ULW's Ascendancy, 3/17/15, Kalinda RP 2 of 2


What's wrong, Lenore? Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? Why aren't you frothing at the mouth and chomping at the bit to get at me, hmm? Why aren't you just bursting at the seams with the desire to verbally butt in to my life, eh?

Because you seem oh so eager to throw yourself at me when my back is turned. That you just adore coming at me when I'm not looking and trying to blindside me.

You're all ready and raring to go, as your mush-mouthed manager would say, a mare all a-lather, and yet here you are. It's been three weeks since FUF VII, where you stuck your nose all up in my business once again.

But you haven't said a word. Not one peep.