From here
-o-
"Umm... Mr. President?"
"Busy right now. Tweeting. Saying things that need to be said about football players."
"That's nice, sir. But while the US Constitution's display case was due for its annual vacuuming, the janitor's blue light on his MP3 player showed something hidden."
"Was it an apple? They're always hiding those. They're all over the magazines I read at my doctor's office. He's the best doctor. Says all my tests are the most positive, that I'm the healthiest human being that has ever been president."
"Not an apple sir. But you know how some of the founding fathers were into weird secret societies and the occult?"
"Is the occult anything like an Applebee's?"
"No sir, it's like eldritch sorcery and men in hooded robes doing sinister things."
"Very American thing to do. Love me some men in hooded robes doing sinister things."
"Anyway, we appear to have a Fisher King clause hidden in invisible ink in the US Constitution tied to the current president."
"Never really was one for fishing, but the king part I like. This means I get to have a crown, right? A big gold crown. The best crown, really."
"No crown, sir. The Fisher King is a historical literary device, or trope, that states that the state of the land is irrevocably tied to the one who rules it."
"Soooooo... what you're telling me is that the United States is totally awesome, and is only going to get awesomer in the future?"
"Uhh... not exactly sir. Half the country is drowning and the other half is on fire."
"This is totally fake news. Those founding fathers were totally not cool dudes in robes and hoods doing sinister things. There were totally uncool cats in dresses that were probably like... doing whatever lame and bad things that uncool cats do. Which I don't know, because I'm not an uncool cat."
"As you say, sir."
"So now I'm having some thoughts about men in dresses. Get the guy with the medals to tell me about how the thing I just randomly said on Twitter with no input from my cabinet a few weeks ago is going."
"You mean General Mattis, sir?"
"General Mattis, Colonel Sanders, Captain Crunch, whoever he is."
"Very well, sir."
"Oh. And now I'm hungry. Can you go send Jared to KFC to get me a bucket of extra-tasty crispy? Or maybe Ivanka. Say, do you..."
"I'm just going to leave now, sir, before I am hideously creeped out before you mention something about your daughter and succulent, juicy breasts and I lose my appetite."
