Sunday, December 1, 2019

VK's Pizza Adventures 6

Red Baron Thin and Cripsy Bacon Lovers 3/10
DiGiorno Bacon Me Crazy Stuffed Crust 5/10
DiGiorno Pepperoni Stuffed Crust 5.5/10
DiGiorno Pepperoni Pan Pizza 7/10

The Red Baron Thin and Crispy Bacon Lovers is not one I will be getting again. I didn't taste much in the way of bacon, most of what I tasted was smoke, I also got occasional tastes of "shitty grey pepperoni" that I'd encountered on a few other pizza brands.

3/10

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Writing Prompt: You’ve just left the doctor’s office in the early morning to find a folded piece of paper left on the bench in the hall. Picking it up, it reads “You’ve been chosen as our next candidate, ! By touching this paper, you have agreed to accept the terms of the unbreakable contract.”

Writing Prompt: You’ve just left the doctor’s office in the early morning to find a folded piece of paper left on the bench in the hall. Picking it up, it reads “You’ve been chosen as our next candidate, <your full name>! By touching this paper, you have agreed to accept the terms of the unbreakable contract.”



"It's not legally binding." I protested.

The dark-robed man chuckled most sinisterly, caressing the heavy book in his hands whose heavy cover was stitched together from what looked to be human skin scraps sewn together. There was also an eyeball, which rolled at the dark sorcerer began to speak.

"Fool! Your mere caress across one of its torn out, hallowed pages legally binds you to work in the Necromantic Business Mines of the Greater Beaurucratic Empire of Bibliotopia! You have touched them, now you must abide by the Tomes of Service!"

"THE TOMES OF SERVICE! THE TOMES OF SERVICE!" a multitude of voices cried out, hooded figures emerging from the shadows.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

Claudia Kajara Biography

Personal Details

Name: Von Krieger / Ron
Discord: VonKrieger#9653
Twitter: @KalindaVK

Character Details

Name: Claudia Kajara
Alias: Claudia the Clown, Some mix of the words "creepy" "clown" and "creature," That Madwoman, Pale Dragon, Painted Dragon, Kalinda Junior, Minion, Henchwoman, Herald of the Uttercold, Dark Diva, Singing Siren
Height: 6'0"

Thursday, October 3, 2019

VK's Pizza Adventures 5

Outsider's Pizza, Milwaukee Style
Pizza Corner, Non-Vacuum Wrapped
Green Mill, Tavern Style
Real 'Za

I didn't like the Outsider's Pizza. The crust had a rather nice texture and there was enough sauce on it to be able to taste the flavor, both of which would have been points in its favor were it not for the second kind of pepperoni on this pizza.

I'm not quite sure what it is that's different, but I really did not like it. It reminded me a great deal of the flavor on the cheapo Totino's pizzas.

I have no idea what it might have been had the pizza been without them, but the second sort of pepperoni makes this one pretty close to inedible.

The only reason this is rated higher than Totino's is that it didn't fall apart on me while eating it.

2.25/10

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Battle Bash #5: Iron Road, The Ghost of Stepford Suburbia

[The room is an artifact. A living fossil. A window to another time. The lime green cabinetry and rounded fridge emblazoned with a chrome symbol of a long forgotten product line, the brilliant red and chrome formica tabletop and matching chairs. The floral pattern lazy susan on the middle of the table our camera appears to be resting on with a swan-shaped sugar bowl. Everything all polished, shiny, and sparkling. It looks like the place was yanked right out of the 1950's.]

[It makes things all the more jarring when suddenly the lights go out for a moment, then when they come on again someone is sitting in the chair. Tanned, blonde hair in a pixie bob that looks cemented in place, a headband and matching floral print dress, and… oh.]

[The orange eyes and the grin that has far too many teeth, though they're white, overly large, and square instead of sharp, pointy, and/or serrated tell us that this is Claudia Kajara with a wig and a fuckton of makeup.]

[The smile, for once, doesn't reach her eyes and she seems sad and almost on the verge of tears.]


"It's not a fun time for you, is it Joe? With your contributions ignored, your hard work cast aside, and the time and effort you put in unrewarded."

[Despite the sorrow in her eyes, Claudia's voice is strangely happy and chipper.]

"That's okay. Well, you feeling that way. It's not okay to be dumped on. But it sure is a thing that's happening alright."

"Because now is not a fun time. This particular stretch of time has taken fun, wrapped it up in duct tape, stuffed it in George Clooney's bum, wrapped George Cloony up in duct tape, stuck him in a padded wooden crate and shipped him off to that warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Arc."

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

DTW 2nd Year Anniversary: Of Sinking and Skeletons

Two years. Two whole years of DeathTrip Wrestling, and in just a few weeks I'd be defending the DTW World Championship once again.

With the big anniversary show looming on the horizon I was putting all my focus towards that instead of my various extracurricular activities.

The Skeleton Isles were growing nicely, soaking up calcium carbonate from ancient deposits on the seafloor and transmuting that into… well… bonestone. It sounds less lewd in Dwarven, let me assure you. It's a necromantic version of marble that operates as if it were still the raw bony bits that one uses for various forms of necromancy, except sturdier.

Using the usual necromantic forging techniques the stuff ended up somewhere between steel, mythril, and adamantite instead of approximating steel like the usual sort of bones. Necromatic Dragonbone was even better, but I certainly wasn't going to find any dragons here, and none of my bones were large enough to make swords out of anyway. Armor? Forget about it. I'm still using this ribcage, thank you very much.

Sunday, September 23, 2018

Thoughtlets: Better Cakes from Mix

From here

"If y’all use a decent box mix and use melted butter instead of vegetable oil, an extra egg, and milk instead of water, no one can tell the difference. I sure as hell can’t.

Also, if you add a little almond extract to vanilla cake, or a little coffee to chocolate cake, it sends it through the roof.

This concludes me attempting to be helpful. "

And this from here

Take a cake mix from a box. Betty Crocker, Pillsbury, Duncan Hines, whatever the hell is on-sale.

They usually ask for you to add in some water, some cooking oil, and egg whites.

Fuck that bullshit.

Instead, replace water with milk (or buttermilk), use butter instead of oil, and use the whole goddamn egg. Toss in some extra vanilla extract.

If you want to make it a bit spiced, add in some cinnamon/nutmeg/allspice

Want to make it gently lemony? Zest some lemon peel into the batter.

Want it extra dense and moist? Add another fucking egg, half a package of vanilla pudding powder mix, and make sure to whip that batter extra hard and long.

Welcome to rich, moist cakeland, entrance fee: $5

Enjoy impressing your friends.

---

Nice seeing this going around again!

My standard cake is box mix + milk for water + melted butter for oil + dash vanilla extract + frosting from scratch. This really seems to hit the right spot for people of “mmm, homemade” but also “exactly like Mom used to make.” (Do that for a yellow cake with chocolate buttercream frosting, add candles, and serve to a college student, for the maximum “this is exactly what I didn’t want to admit I wanted” potential.)

Seconding the addition of coffee to chocolate cake; a tablespoon of instant coffee powder in a dark chocolate cake makes it taste chocolatey-er without actually adding a perceptible coffee flavor (I don’t like coffee flavor, personally, and I still do this).

Another good option is a box lemon cake mix plus maybe 3 lemons. Zest the lemons, set the zest aside, then juice them and use that in place of the water; then use the zest to flavor the frosting. Adds a nice fresh kick.

Chocolate chips can be dumped straight into chocolate cake mix without fussing with anything to compensate. Sprinkles can go into white cake mix to make your own “confetti cake” with any specific color combo you like. Any kind of dried fruit can be chopped to raisin-size, soaked in hot water (or, better yet, hot juice with a couple of citrus peels added) for an hour, drained, and then added to batter.

Replacing part (up to maybe 1/3) of the water with yogurt (and then the rest with milk as usual) will give you a denser cake; make sure to check if it’s cooked through, and bake a little longer if necessary.

Swirling things through batter for that fancy marbled look is easy. Consider melting chocolate chips with butter, or mixing brown sugar with cinnamon and a little melted butter, or making up two different cake mixes and swirling those together.

I swear by the Cake Mix Doctor’s two cookbooks (one’s general, one’s specifically for chocolate cakes). I think every birthday cake I had as a child was out of those.