Hello once again chat!
So it seems like our merry band of two normal people and two wizards from a secret society of wizards (who I hope are not associated with the Moldyshorts, the Dark Lady of TERF What Lives In a Black Mold-Infested Castle's secret society of wizards) has expanded!
Joining Ms. French, Stabby Junior, Princess Shrimp-For-A-Butt and myself is another wizard lady that got stuffed into a… hmm… well, considering we have two dragons and a Zergling, let's try and keep to that wizard secret society nomenclature-avoiding type thing and say she got stuffed into a mascot costume.
Very Five Nights at Freddy's, what with all the corpses lying around but also with us still being here possessing bodies of the mystical mascots that seem to be based on folks from myth and legend.
So it turns out that names of Mascots are super important and you can like tell their powers and stuff by knowing their name, and thus the weaknesses from their legend, like how Achilles could only be wounded by striking his heel, or that Medb (who was killed while bathing with a piece of hard cheese fired from a sling) has lactose intolerance that's outright lethal.
So I am totally a being out of myth and/or history that died due to being smothered with attention, love, affection, and adoration by a bunch of cute, sexy monsterboys and girls. Yup. Totally. That's me alright. Just swamp me in a hoard of snuggles and I will keel over dead and/or be under the total control of the Dork Disciples of Lord Neckbeard or whatever the hell it is that they want to do with me. That will totally work. Please don't swamp me with catgirls with cute ears and fluffy tails and tiny little kobold boys with thick tails and boopable snoots.
Oh, right! I was talking about New Girl. She's another white/blonde haired lady that got added to the collection. Ms. France is very, very upset that she's been trapped in a Karen's body. With all the light haired, light skinned ladies here with supernatural powers it's like Village of the Damned or something. Except we're not a hive mind.
Maybe Princess Shrimp-For-A-Butt is, because she's a Zergling larvae. Hopefully she doesn't morph into a building or whatever. Maybe she can do that when we find the Dork Disciples headquarters and lay siege to it with a zerg rush. Kikikikikiki!
Anyway, Ms. France has complained that I haven't drawn her yet. Apparently she's a special class that's supposed to be the Referee for the Stanley Cup match between the hockey wizards and their summoned and bound Mascots. She's kind of crabby and very violent, especially against the kids. She beats them with her shoe on a regular basis. I don't think that we can actually be hurt by it now that we're magically empo… er… made out of metal and plastic and fluff and stuffing, but it's the thought that counts and the thoughts are pretty gosh darned mean.
So here you go, Mean Ms. France, one drawing of you.
There you go, Crabby Gabby. One Ruler, equipped with La Chancla.
So New Girl is the one that broke us out of there by targeting the generators with her uh… ultimate attack thingy. Again, I shouldn't use potentially TERF-wizard terminology, so with us being Mascots, I'm gonna call our limit break type thingies Jumpscares.
She's got a pretty unique name and her Mascot identity is also a pretty big one, so I'm not going to talk about it and spill the beans. So keeping with the hockey theme she gets to be called Wayne Gretzky, because her hero ID is just that damned good. Hmm, maybe I should call her Triple H then. But she's nice, so I'm going to not name her after one of the biggest meanies in professional wrestling unless she goes on a Reign of Terror and starts holding down the up and coming mascots and killing our pushes.
I'll be watching her carefully and making sure that no Shovel Dancing will take place.
Ain't no shame in hating The Game.
On that topic, if Triple H is the game, and Ric Flair is the Dirtiest Player in the Game, does that mean that they were… you know? There's a lot of bi things that he is, but lingual is not one of them, after all. Oh, would that also make his wife the box that The Game comes in?
Anyway, on the topic of fatherhood, the Princess talked a lot about her dad, King Shrimp-For-A-Butt, and it turns out that he's pretty much the… heck. Does talking about the theoretically wizardly side of major religious organizations count for breaking the whatever? Anyway, I'm not going to chance getting smacked with the legal La Chancla of the Church of Orthodox Mormon Scientology or whatever and going to dub him a minister in the Church of Unitology.
Ṃ̶̛̑̌̔̾ạ̶̥̥̗͕͗̉̂̑͒̆̀̈̕͝k̷͖͉̥͊͂̀ę̶̢̯̳̜͉̬͕̇̈̂̿͑ ̷̢̺͍̰̙̻̳͕̍̎̾̒̑̕͝ú̸̯̤͎̘̩̦̞̼̳̽s̷̞͎̮̭̆̄̚ ̵͔̝͕̲͗̓̑w̵̨̹̯͍̭͔̦̎̑͋̏̓͗̐͗́h̵̢̭̣̦̞̾̔́̈́̓̆͛͊͠ơ̸͓͇͉̫̟̝̺̈̂̀̿͋̉́̚l̷͇̓̔e̷̡̨̱͈̕,̷̫̱̣̉͂͆̇̂̎́̾̕͝ ̷͈͇̼̟͇̱̘̻͓̍̇̇ͅI̸̢̳̜͚̳̩̪̖͂͋̈́̆̀̕s̵̨͙̯̻̞̺̠̩̈́̿̔͐̇̎̈a̸͙͔̳̅̓͑̉̂̈́̃͒́a̸̺̣̬̓̂̎ċ̶̠̩̅̿̑̀͠ͅͅ.̵̪̤̦̦̹̹͐̓̈́̂̍̀͘̚
He's basically Bobby Boucher's mom from the movie "The Waterboy" and is constantly saying that everything is of the devil. Except for lesbians, which are not explicitly called out as forbidden in the bible and thus are the purest expression of love.
I didn't get a name, so until I have a foundation to make something silly out of he gets to be Luigi Spaghetti Shrimp-For-A-Butt.
I only just realized now that I didn't have my crayon brush on for my doodles. Gosh darn it.
Well, I could redo them in a second with my magical drawing and typing powers, but we're not supposed to be using magic because the Dork Lord of Denny's, Chancellor Neckbeard, has like a magic detecting radar or something.
Oh, yeah. Forgot to mention that I have magical drawing and typing powers. Unfortunately they haven't improved my artistic abilities any.
Anyway, not much has happened. We had Ms. Gretzky knocking on our door earlier this morning, went out to get some clothes to look less like a travelling LARP… er… Mascot theme, right? A walking furcon.
I mean it's kind of true, we've got two dragons and a zergling and said zergling goes "uwu" but has a speech impediment that makes her go "umu" instead. Maybe look into speech therapy for Princess Shrimp-For-A-Butt.
So we took the Princess to the local Unitology Church and had a talk with the peoples (and almost had a hockey fight break out with an angry redheaded Unitologist with a giant hockey stick. No, not that hockey stick, she's in full Church Hockey Uniform and pads, so I couldn't even see if she had a stick) and had a look at the Princess' Stanley Sippy Cup, which as I theorized was filled with the distilled evil and sinisterness of all mankind.
So like I said, basically liquid 4chan.
Anyway, after that we went back to the mall where we got clothes for disguises and found ourselves our… let me count… Me. Ms. France. Princess. Stabby McGee. New Girl. New New Girl… I think that makes six light haired white woman Mascots.
So I'm pretty sure Lord Neckbeard has a type, and considering we've got three midgets amongst us, I'm pretty sure that his preferred candy is a lollypop and his preferred format is a PDF file if you know what I mean.
So yeah, nothing too terribly interesting is happening at the moment. But I'll keep you guys updated as to the goings on in my new life as a "Hockey Mascot."
Oh man, I just realized that second post in and I'm already simplifying my drawing style. What with not drawing the Princess's big-ass bow or adding in the color details to my… pokeity purple tail scute spine thingies?
Oh well. Something to remember for next time, along with the crayon brush.
Love ya, Chat!
See ya when I see ya!
-Veda
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