(An Android Weeps for the Future)

(Opening narration) And once again we are aboard the fiendish laboratory aboard A Zeppelin Called Trouble, which is actually looking a bit more sinister than usual, as there are a few blood splatters here and there, as well as bit of tissue and a few eyeballs pinned to a board, as well as several more dissected ones strewn about.

"(Annoyance) Yes, the retrieval of the samples required a great deal more were more effort than was necessary, thanks to you."

(Protesting narration) But you can't just vivisect a gal without the proper mood and music!

"(Scoffing) Marvin Gaye, rose petals, and candles are not required for a scientific vivisection!"

(Masochistic narration) Sure they are! You strap a gal down to a table, whisper sweet nothings about carving up her eye sockets for scientific study, and didn't even bother taking me out for dinner and drinks first!

"(Disgust) This was not a romantic liaison."

(Ignorant Reeking Foe Part II: Meatbag Boogaloo)

(Introductory narration) Yes! That's right ladies and gentlemen, boiling ghouls, inbreds of all stages! MECHA-Kalinda is freshly victorious over hacker and astrologer Kara Star, a pathetic creature of meat and bone, running through corridors, blah blah blah.

Anyway, with all her stargazing and attempts at divination, she somehow managed to avoid seeing herself totally getting her ridiculously pale butt kicked from pillar to post.

And look, I'm one to talk head considering I'm the color of newly fallen snow. But I've got a bit of undead and faerie in me. I'm supposed to be pale, deathly, and otherworldly. Kara, though, is like mayonnaise. Eggy, glistening, full of sulfur, and prone to becoming gross and unpleasant if you leave her out in the sun for more than like fifteen minutes.

But this week! This week we...

"(Grumps)"

(Continued narration) This week we...

"(Further grumping)"

(Narration following a particularly loud raspberry) Pbbbbt. Fine. Okay, sourpuss, what's up?

(Mathematical Proof: Stars = Stench)

(Introductory narration with Auntie Claudia, the dragon-demon-faerie-undead-clown-thing. That is her scientific classification) It is! It is totally my scientific classification! Or at least it will be once there are enough weird beasties that have shown up in Kaiju Family Values show to warrant Stanton Enterprises putting out an official guide to Kaiju.

ANYWAY! I am indeed you cutie clown narrator, and we open aboard A Zeppelin Named Trouble, the floating, bulbous, villainous lair of the dread Menagerie!

"(Ominous crackle of thunder)"

(Amused narration) Thank you, MECHA-Kalinda! Thunder cracks in a most sinister fashion outside the windows of the bloated gas bag. The zeppelin, you goofs! Don't disparage Lumber Jackson like that! His mother says he's a husky boy!