DTW Deathtube #6, Claudia RP 1/1: Kiss Stealin', Axe Wieldin', Skull Mask Wearin', Children Scarin', WOOO! Clown of the Town!

I've been carefully monitoring my prey. Biding my time until the perfect moment to strike.

In order to be an excellent comic, you have to be patient as the most important thing in comedy is timing, and I've been waiting all day to make sure the joke for the setup is perfect.

My prey has to be alone, as not only can I not pop in when somebody is looking at the space where I want to pop in, but also because the presence of a certain third party would completely ruin the joke.

And not only does he have to be alone, but he has to be occupied with looking at something in front of him for a sustained period of time so I can get into the proper position and look all nice and relaxed like I'd been sitting there forever.

AND he has to be far enough away that he can't just walk up and slug me in the jaw before I get to the punchline.

DTW Deathtube #5, Claudia RP 1/1: Undead Girlfriend

Oh blah blah blah, piddle-y piddle-y blah! You're a horrible, horrible person, Mister Taco Cowabunga, a complete and utter monster! Well, not THAT horrible, considering we've got a big old pile of peoples around here that are like 10 pounds of total depravity in a 5 gallon bucket.

But here you are with your plucky underdog fighty-man routine that everybody's seen a bajillion times, and it's boring all the little boys and girls out there, and more importantly me, to death!

Well, further into undeath, technically. Because I'm kinda-sorta not quite fully alive. But that's besides the point! I feel so bad for you, Taco Paco, I really do, because here you are in DTW with two dragons, a fake viking that I think just renounced his fake vikingry, a poop-obsessed spider-monkey, an insane grandma, and a dirty, dirty hippie.

On the bright side you probably smell better than all the non-dragony wrestlers, not saturated in your own bodily mess, patchouli oil, or Eau de Old Person. So that's something you've got going for you!

But even though you stand out here a bit because you're not completely and totes a tremendous buttmeister, I don't think you can really get very far in the wacky world of professional wrestling being a plucky underdog fighty-man. Especially in Japan where everybody is a fighty-man, and plucky underdogs are a dime a dozen.

Which is better than the US, where you'd be served merchandise driven frankfurters called Plucky Underdogs with somebody's face and logo stamped onto the bun. Or Korea, where Plucky Underdog would also be served in the concession stand. Wink wink nudge nudge say no more.

DTW DeathTube #3, Claudia RP 1/1: I bet her throat tastes like peaches.

I have a mission to complete. A top secret mission. A super duper ultra black top secret mission to carry out on behalf of my cute, cuddly, ice-cold not-quite-so-evil overlord Kalinda.

So secret, in fact, that she doesn't know about it.

She probably wouldn't approve of it, and it would make her depressed to think about, so I'm not going to tell her about it.

As a right and proper minion it is my duty to serve my mistress and do my best to make her happy and contented. Sometimes just being my usually silly clowny self is enough, but sometimes it's not.

The boss lady's got a big thing coming up, some kind of one night random tournament-y thing in DTW that she's kind of honked off about.