IWC's Last Stand 2016

When you're thrown into a casket, locked in, and set on fire oddly enough you end up with quite a bit of time to think about things before it gets really uncomfortable. It isn't the flames that end up doing the damage, but rather the heat.

If it had been a nice, pleasant pine box I would've been good. I could've punched through that sucker like tissue paper. It would've taken forever to burn. Think of how long it takes for logs on a fire to burn all the way through. Your average casket's got a good inch or so of wood between you and the outside world, and wood is a shitty conductor. Like Southeastern levels of shitty conductors.

IWC's Last Stand, 2/25/15, Kalinda/Legion RP 1 of 1

Five months ago I severed ties with the IWC. Five months ago I cut the federation that I spent six months of my life prepping for. Five months ago I said farewell to the collection of idiots, morons, hacks, and egomaniacal dipshits that decided that the best place to put a seven foot tall dragoness was in a freakshow division fighting against an idiot, a moron, and a retard.

And they teamed him with an autistic and a midget.

I'm better than that. I know I'm better than that. But because I didn't pick a side, that I didn't surgically graft my lips to the asses of either one of the emergent factions whose warfare dominated IWC I was ignored. I was an afterthought. I was given no opportunity to thrive amidst inferior fellows. There were teeming masses of non-wrestlers and the personal friends of Mr. Flies and the Dumbest Woman in Professional Wrestling needed lavish paydays, and brother dude jack, trickle down Hoganomics is what's best for business, Mean Gene!

And in those five long months I've shown the IWC what fools they were to waste me like they did. Remember my farewell pay per view match? You know, the one that was signed into being at virtually the last minute. The one that got made as an afterthought. The one where two people who had been with the IWC since its founding were given less consideration than some schmucks who had just signed with the company days before.

And speaking of schmucks, do you know just how wonderful and forward looking that little contest was? Of the four people that stayed with the fed in those five months only Leviticus has wrestled, he only did it for one match, and he sucked ass in it.

Yeah, the exact moment I left the fed, they stopped bringing in Fitzgerald. Amazing, isn't it? It's like he was brought in with the sole intention of being an embarrassment and being a gods damned albatross around my neck.

Kalinda's Profile and Biography

Handler Details

Name: Von Krieger / Ron
E-mail: hellkat9940yahoocom
Contact Details:
Aim: XiakXande
Yahoo: hellkat9940
MSN/Skype: bladedestroyer@hotmail.com
Twitter: @VonKrieger (personal), @SenorHush (IWC, Mr. Hush), @KalindaVK (Actually Kalinda)
Years Experience: 15+. Years in the Game makes it sound like I've been living inside HHH's ass.
Date of Application: September 9, 2014

IWC's Upping the Ante, October 19, 2014, Mr. Hush RP 1 of 1

[And we find ourselves backstage, where the identically dressed pair of Aloysius Todd-Meriwether and Mr. Hush are standing around. The pair have forgone their usual suits, ties, and bowler hats in favor of what appear to be some rather ostentatious, ridiculous, and overly ornate military parade uniforms, sporting an absolutely ludicrous amount of medals.]

Al Todd-Meriwether: WELL, MY BOY, I HAVE TO SAY IT HAS MOST DEFINITELY BEEN AN HONOR TO WORK WITH YOU. THIS HAS INDEED BEEN ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING AND UNIQUE ROLES THAT I HAVE HAD TO PORTRAY DURING MY STORIED CAREER OF MANY DECADES AS AN ACTOR!

[Mr. Hush nods, extending a hand for his soon-to-no-longer-be-need voice actor to shake.]

Al Todd-Meriwether: WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT SO MANY MONTHS AGO, ENTERING WITH A BANG, AND LEAVING WITH LITTLE MORE THAN A WHIMPER.

[Then again Al's whimpers are of parallel volume to most people's bangs.]

Al Todd-Meriwether: SO HERE WE ARE WITH ONE LAST SOLILOQUY BEFORE WE STRIDE OFF INTO THE NIGHT AND I AM MADE TO TAKE OFF THE MASK OF MR. HUSH FOR THE LAST TIME.

[We turn to Mr. Hush, who has produced the diminutive handpuppet of none other than Mr. Sock Puppet Stick-Poked-in-His-Tushie Ba'al in order to more effectively communicate.]

IWC's Upping the Ante, October 19, 2014, Kalinda RP 1 of 1

The dumbest man and woman in professional wrestling today.

That is what I called Clarence Whitman and Taylor Chase four days ago. But I didn't say it here. I said it in ULW. I said a lot of things in ULW. I said a lot of things about the IWC over in ULW.

And do you know why?

Do you know why I went out of my way to vent my spleen on somebody's else's wrestling program and not here?

Because I wanted to test something. I wanted to see what would happen. I wanted to experience the fallout, the reprimand, the ass-chewing, the bitch fest from people in power. How dare I, as an active IWC employee wander off onto somebody else's show and basically pull down my employer's pants and give the IWC a verbal sodomizing right there on the airwaves and internets for all to see.

It never came.

I buried the federation less than a week removed from a big PPV, I did it in a company with an IDENTICAL market and parallel media presence. We share the same gods damned building. I can't think of ANYBODY who would be the IWC's biggest competitor and rival than ULW.

I threw down the gauntlet and announced my pending departure from the IWC four days ago. Half because I meant it, and half because I wanted to see what would happen.

The answer to that is nothing.

Nothing happened.