Atrocity Rose

Ah, beloved, the hour grows late, and you grow weary. Do not deny it, dearest, for my eyes are keen and can see each and every one of your mortal frailties. If it pleases you, I shall tell you of what you ask. But remember there are things that are better off being unknown. There are things out there in the planes. Monstrous things beyond the likes of which the common tongue's vocabulary can describe.

I would share the experience with you, beloved. You know that I can open my mind to yours, to let you browse the width and breadth of all I am like an open book. I can, but I plead with you to not ask this of me. There lies within me a fragment of a greater creature, a mere shadow of a reflection of a mote of her majesty. She has no name, dearest, for where she dwells she is everything. She is the beginning, she is the end, and whatever is not of her is consumed and devoured until it is. Like I was.

After the War Session 1 Highlights

DM: So you've been hiding in a ruined fort for a week or two, hiding from the Angelic and Draconic forces fighting out on the plain.

VK: Plain as in grasslands or plane as in sliver of another dimension.

DM: Ah, the grasslands.

Danish Orc Sorc (DOS): It could also be an airplane.

DM: I should've been more specific. Curse you english language. You're on the elemental plane of plain planes. There's nothing to eat but airline food.

VK: (Vader NOOOOOOO!)

DOS: That idea was going to go into DnD, but it didn't make it off the runway.

DM: It really crashed and burned. It's actually a grassland, and I'll try to be more specific about that in the future.

VK: You've had a concussion and have been up all night, you're on autopilot.

(The deluge of plane puns continues for a minute)

DM: Anyway, you're all holed up in a fort on the edge of the plain...

VK: Like on the wing? (Shatner) There's.... some... THING... onthewing!

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(DOS has snuck past the planned monster encounters with a natural 20, so has Undead in Denial Catgirl, meanwhile VK is not stealthy)

DM: You encounter a nasty frog looking thing, roll Knwoledge to identify!

DOS: rolls awfully

UDC: I have no knowledge skills.

VK: I have all the knowledge skills, but am a massive robot snake who is not in the least biut stealthy! It's like the Gift of the Magi all over again!

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(DOS has snuck up to the surface to look at the battlefield, there is a dead corpse the size of a mountain range in golden armor, the plains have flooded, and there's a second moon in the sky.)

DOS: I take a deep breath to smell if the water is slat water, so like if it's from an ocean.

DM: You smell rotting corpses.

DOS: I regret everything.

DM: Roll for Regret.

DOS: What's a Regret roll?

VK: It's like a Will save, but you add your Emoness stat instead of Wisdom.

DOS: Excellent. I'm an evil orcish sorcerer, I have a massive emo stat. rolls

DM: You deeply regreat inhaling.

---

(DOS returns to the part)

DOS: So uh... guys, how many moons do we have?

Kobold Re-animated Mad Scientist (KREMS): Just the one!

VK: Well, TECHNICALLY we have six moons, as they're considered orbital bodies, but five are not visible to the naked eye and are incredibly miniscule!

DOS: No, you can see this one.

VK: Awww! Our moon made a friend!

DM: It's got a big gash down the middle of it, it looks wartorn and tattered.

VK: Our moon made a LADY friend!

KREMS: Maybe the second moon is affecting the tides and that's why the place is flooding?

VK: COVER YOUR LADYPARTS, IMMODEST HARLOT MOON!