Sunday, April 10, 2016

UWA Outbreak #3, Kalinda RP 1/1: A Not-So-Brief Kayfabe History of the Universe


Delilah Darkbolt.

Fuck.

While she was the closest thing I had to a friend amongst the dark elf nobility, I'd kind of been avoiding her for the past few days. Not for the usual reasons either. I mean the usual reasons why everybody else avoided her.

Delilah na Kinai, Scion of House Darkbolt, Firstborn True Daughter of Dara na Kinai, Heir to the Matriarchy.

Dark elves are born with innate magic, tied to the totem animals of their race, house, and family. It always manifests in the same three ways: sorcery; the application of raw magical power as destructive energy, enchantment; the application of magical power for strengthening one's self or allies and weakening one's foes, and channeling; the act of imbuing one's self with the raw essence of one's patron, gaining their traits and physical aspects.

Delilah was a pure Enchanter, and to compliment their powers of being able to enhance others most enchanters went out and found a fearsome beastie and bound it to them as a loyal protector.

Delilah had tried that. Dozens of times.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

UWA Outbreak #2, Kalinda RP 1/1


"New log in found, user Kalinda Kriegsdottir, Maintenance Necrotechnician Lead Subterranean. Accessing profile..." chirped the computer with its obnoxious, Stepford Wife-esque secretary voice.

Three, two, one...

"Error. Your data file appears to be corrupted."

I sighed, "No, it's not. It's fine."

"Kriegsdottir is an awarded title of nobility to a dwarven child whose parents were slain in battle. A cursory inspection of you with my optical sensors indicates..."

"I'm an elf/kobold crossbreed and am also a dragonblood. My grandma's dwarven and she found my egg not far from a battlefield."

"According to protocol all elves are to be subjected to bloodline testing to determine proper House and Clan affiliations."

"No, it's fine. Really. Let's just ignore my file."

Sunday, March 6, 2016

Writing Prompt: Demons are not born, they are made from humans surviving in hell long enough

The thing that everybody up there seems to focus on is the "fallen" part of fallen angel. Evil, horrible, rebellious angels who fought against the Lord Almighty and for their pride were cast down into the Lake of Fire to suffer for eternity.

It's the angel part you ought to be focusing on. Angels weren't given free will, they weren't given much in the brains department either. You have to remember what they were created for.

Angels were made to serve God and sing his praises. Angels were designed from the ground... er.. cloud up to be ass-kissing hired help.

The one big idea an angel had in all of history was to pitch a hissy fit when God made mankind and decided he liked us more than them.

The most creative thing angels have ever done was to basically throw a snit when Mommy and Daddy paid more attention to their new baby brother and got sent to time out.

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Recipe: Homemade Oatmeal Packets

2t Cinnamon per 3 cups
1/2 cup Sugar per 3 cups
7 cups normal oatmeal
3 cups oatmeal blended into powder