From Here
Guns are like the rain -- you can't control them -- so if your roof leaks, the best solution is to get rid of the roof and sit in your living room with a super soaker aimed at the sky.
Saturday, December 12, 2015
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Thoughtlets: Childhood Innocence
From Here
For many people in prisons, their presence is a result of a rash action or a series of bad choices, for many more it is a result of their adolescence, upbringing, and/or environment.
To almost all people to begin with, children are sacrosanct, but these people in particular, children are innocents who have a chance to make better choices and decisions, and to live a better life than they did.
A person who feels irredeemable will look on children as bright lights in a dark world- they are the essence of hope.
And to sully that innocence, to kill part of the hope of the world, and to darken what little light they see left, is the most gravest of offenses. Only the purely blackhearted could do such a thing, and to those who feel separated from the world by their misdeeds and pasts, that sort of person will be treated as a wild animal dressed in the cloth of humanity, and will be dealt with accordingly.
For many people in prisons, their presence is a result of a rash action or a series of bad choices, for many more it is a result of their adolescence, upbringing, and/or environment.
To almost all people to begin with, children are sacrosanct, but these people in particular, children are innocents who have a chance to make better choices and decisions, and to live a better life than they did.
A person who feels irredeemable will look on children as bright lights in a dark world- they are the essence of hope.
And to sully that innocence, to kill part of the hope of the world, and to darken what little light they see left, is the most gravest of offenses. Only the purely blackhearted could do such a thing, and to those who feel separated from the world by their misdeeds and pasts, that sort of person will be treated as a wild animal dressed in the cloth of humanity, and will be dealt with accordingly.
Friday, October 30, 2015
ULW RingKing, 10/30/15, Kalinda RP 1 of 1
I thought my opinion of my co-workers couldn't sink any lower. That I had finally managed to delve to the deepest, darkest depths of disregard for the rest of ULW. But no, around here when you hit rock bottom on the chart of human stupidity folks don't stop. Folks break out the pick axe and keep fucking digging.
Because it can't be laziness, oh no. You'd think that people would realize by now just how fucking indestructible I am. I've been shot in the face, I've taken shots that would end careers and gotten up minutes later, and just this week I was the victim of an attempted motor vehicular homicide. Well, it would've been one had I been just about anyone else on this silly blue ball of a world.
I shouldn't have to do this. I shouldn't have to come out and remind everybody day in, day out, week after week, month after month that I am a giant magical dragoness from another world. I shouldn't have to smack people about the face and scream in their ears about the fact that I'm different than all the other wrestlers they've ever faced.
I have done everything but stand in the arena with a megaphone, shouting facts about myself into the ears of my would be opponents. But no, despite everything I have ever done no one seems to believe me. They don't believe their eyes when they see a seven foot tall, bright blue, honest-to-goodness fire breathing woman with a tail.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Lich Analogs for All Schools of Magic
From Here
Abjuration - Freeze your body in a bubble of crystalized space-time, interacting telekinetically with everything. You're obviously going to need servants or adventurers to help move your bubble around, since telekinesis won't work on yourself. You could also permanently push your body a few seconds into the future, making yourself physically inaccessible and granting some extra fourth-dimensional perspective.
Conjuration - Bind soul to a demiplane, becoming a sentient structure. Congrats, now the dungeon is you! If you're really good, you could make the entire planet into your very own soul gem.
Divination - Body refuses to age by manipulating random chance, or you divined the location of a fountain of immortality that you must drink from each day. Fits most old sage archetypes, and due to your precarious immortality you may have to send others to get your work done for you. If you're really ambitious, turn yourself into an infectious meme, a demigod of intellect that survives as long as a particular fact, story, or song is known to sentient minds.
Abjuration - Freeze your body in a bubble of crystalized space-time, interacting telekinetically with everything. You're obviously going to need servants or adventurers to help move your bubble around, since telekinesis won't work on yourself. You could also permanently push your body a few seconds into the future, making yourself physically inaccessible and granting some extra fourth-dimensional perspective.
Conjuration - Bind soul to a demiplane, becoming a sentient structure. Congrats, now the dungeon is you! If you're really good, you could make the entire planet into your very own soul gem.
Divination - Body refuses to age by manipulating random chance, or you divined the location of a fountain of immortality that you must drink from each day. Fits most old sage archetypes, and due to your precarious immortality you may have to send others to get your work done for you. If you're really ambitious, turn yourself into an infectious meme, a demigod of intellect that survives as long as a particular fact, story, or song is known to sentient minds.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
ULW's Fucked Up Friday, 10/9/15, Claudia RP 1 of 1
"Ladies and gentlemen, boils and ghouls, inbreds of all stages! Feast your eyes upon the prize; upon a grand and glorious, miraculous marvel to tantalize and titillate even the most snobbish of sourpuss smarks!"
"I bring to you… me! Clauda the Clown, ULW's newest novelty, it's most cutting-edge combatant, it's recentest wrestler! That's totally a word and you will never ever be able to convince me otherwise, ha ha!"
"Yes siree! You all are in for a treat like no other, because I'm nothing like the rest of the roster, oh golly gosh no! See, somebody put out the call umpteen weeks ago looking for interesting peoples! Folks who don't just wander in off the street with a banana hammock, a goofy-ass haircut, a pair of boots, a chip on their shoulder, a tragic backstory, and some serious mental defects."
"Like seriously, y'all motherfuckers need therapy. C-R-A-Z-Y you don't need an alibi, you crazy, ya ya you crazy! And I don't mean crazy like me, which is crazy in an amusing, zany, happy, pleasant, positive way. I mean like sad sacks whose refusal to get treatment makes each and every one of you a total downer to be around. A complete and utter bummer to all the butts in the seats. A party pooper who poops parties presenting proper poop."
"I bring to you… me! Clauda the Clown, ULW's newest novelty, it's most cutting-edge combatant, it's recentest wrestler! That's totally a word and you will never ever be able to convince me otherwise, ha ha!"
"Yes siree! You all are in for a treat like no other, because I'm nothing like the rest of the roster, oh golly gosh no! See, somebody put out the call umpteen weeks ago looking for interesting peoples! Folks who don't just wander in off the street with a banana hammock, a goofy-ass haircut, a pair of boots, a chip on their shoulder, a tragic backstory, and some serious mental defects."
"Like seriously, y'all motherfuckers need therapy. C-R-A-Z-Y you don't need an alibi, you crazy, ya ya you crazy! And I don't mean crazy like me, which is crazy in an amusing, zany, happy, pleasant, positive way. I mean like sad sacks whose refusal to get treatment makes each and every one of you a total downer to be around. A complete and utter bummer to all the butts in the seats. A party pooper who poops parties presenting proper poop."
ULW's Fucked Up Friday, 10/9/15, Kalinda RP 1 of 1
-Promo-
Stop it.
I see you. I can see what you're doing clear as day. And even if I didn't ULW's legion of diehard fans will be sitting there all night refreshing the webpages wanting to be the very first to scoop up a little tidbit of news to twist and warp into a clickbait type headline and be the first to toss it up on one of a thousand wrestling news sites.
I get posted with one match up, and by the time the sun rises over the United States of America in a glorious explosion of guns, baseballs, eagles, apple pie, and 72 ounce gas station soda cups that match has somehow mutated into something else entirely.
See in the dark, wee hours of the morning once again I was put in the main event of FUF. And once again not only would I be facing ULW's champion Willow Wilkes, but I would also have the opportunity to get my hands on that little shit Eli Legacy. Eli and I were originally making the tag team main event a trios event.
But once again I get jerked around and tossed into a random three way match constructed without any regard for rhyme, reason, common sense, a decent build, or any sort of motivation for having it.
I mean last time at least there was the minor footnote of League of Superstars points between me and Colton, and also featuring Cameron "The Dick Pickle" MacNichol. This time we don't even have that.
Stop it.
I see you. I can see what you're doing clear as day. And even if I didn't ULW's legion of diehard fans will be sitting there all night refreshing the webpages wanting to be the very first to scoop up a little tidbit of news to twist and warp into a clickbait type headline and be the first to toss it up on one of a thousand wrestling news sites.
I get posted with one match up, and by the time the sun rises over the United States of America in a glorious explosion of guns, baseballs, eagles, apple pie, and 72 ounce gas station soda cups that match has somehow mutated into something else entirely.
See in the dark, wee hours of the morning once again I was put in the main event of FUF. And once again not only would I be facing ULW's champion Willow Wilkes, but I would also have the opportunity to get my hands on that little shit Eli Legacy. Eli and I were originally making the tag team main event a trios event.
But once again I get jerked around and tossed into a random three way match constructed without any regard for rhyme, reason, common sense, a decent build, or any sort of motivation for having it.
I mean last time at least there was the minor footnote of League of Superstars points between me and Colton, and also featuring Cameron "The Dick Pickle" MacNichol. This time we don't even have that.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Mr. Bright, Vigilante of Pelor
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" the guard says, sizing me up, "This guy called down some major dark magic. Two of the Watch that brought him in are still under observation. They're sick with..."
He is silent as he looks into my eyes, or tries to. The smoked lenses I wear make the task impossible, which is the entirety of the reason behind wearing them. I can see the doubt on his face. In the months since my unexpected arrival I haven't changed the way I dress in the slightest. Unsaid is the general premise; what kind of an idiot walks around in the middle of the desert with no shirt and heavy plate armor on all four limbs?
"I'm sure. The Church of Kord will take full responsibility for what he does while in my charge." I reply. He sighs and steps down from the front of the prison wagon, leaving the reins in my hands.
"I'll have the wagon back before dawn." I say, getting the horses underway before the question can be raised.
In the back, behind stout iron bars, wrists bound with thick chain, and with a gag stuffed in his mouth is the current front-runner for the annual most-hated man in the city awards. Or he would be, were there such an award.
Argos Kane, heir-apparent to the Kane family trading fortune, has been engaging in some rather unfortunate extra-curricular activities. Dark magic, creation of undead, kidnapping, murder, and a host of other unpleasantness that ruins the appetite to think about.
He is silent as he looks into my eyes, or tries to. The smoked lenses I wear make the task impossible, which is the entirety of the reason behind wearing them. I can see the doubt on his face. In the months since my unexpected arrival I haven't changed the way I dress in the slightest. Unsaid is the general premise; what kind of an idiot walks around in the middle of the desert with no shirt and heavy plate armor on all four limbs?
"I'm sure. The Church of Kord will take full responsibility for what he does while in my charge." I reply. He sighs and steps down from the front of the prison wagon, leaving the reins in my hands.
"I'll have the wagon back before dawn." I say, getting the horses underway before the question can be raised.
In the back, behind stout iron bars, wrists bound with thick chain, and with a gag stuffed in his mouth is the current front-runner for the annual most-hated man in the city awards. Or he would be, were there such an award.
Argos Kane, heir-apparent to the Kane family trading fortune, has been engaging in some rather unfortunate extra-curricular activities. Dark magic, creation of undead, kidnapping, murder, and a host of other unpleasantness that ruins the appetite to think about.
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